There is one topic that keeps coming up for me and that I want to change: reduced communication.
Never heard of it? Me neither, but I can’t describe it any better than that.
At first, I noticed that other people preferred to send text or voice messages instead of making phone calls, which used to be the norm. Until I realized: I’m just as guilty!
In recent months, I’ve even become really lazy and tend to respond to messages with emojis rather than a full sentence. I usually just skimmed through the messages (my goodness, some days there are so many! Do you feel the same way?) and didn’t want to keep the other person waiting forever for a reply. So I quickly sent an emoji as a response.
And little by little, I’m realizing how much is actually lost here. But let me start from the beginning:
Help! An unexpected call!
Anyone who grew up in the 80s (like me) knows that there was a time when communication took place in full sentences and by telephone (or in person).
Nowadays, it’s strange for me when my phone suddenly rings and someone I know calls me out of the blue – which hardly ever happens. If I think about it, it hasn’t happened in years… yet it used to be the most normal thing in the world.
Phone calls are arranged in advance (usually via WhatsApp), with the date and time specified. Spontaneity is no longer a thing. The next step? Voice messages sent back and forth. Just to remind you: I’m just as guilty of this as anyone else.
Social media and genuine connections
How do you share your experiences? Let me guess: Facebook/Instagram posts and stories, WhatsApp status updates, or photos via WhatsApp.
The advantage? You reach a wider audience. It gives you the feeling of being seen by lots of people. Nice, right? But that’s not what we really want. Because let’s be honest, (almost) everyone longs for deep, meaningful connections, and when an acquaintance (who you haven’t seen/spoken to in 5 years) briefly asks “where was that?” or Caymen3456 likes your Insta post, you experience a brief high—and then emptiness.
Because: What is the quality behind this connection?
But hey, it’s not all bad!
That’s true. Social media and Zoom, for example, have made it easier to stay connected over long distances. I also like to see what my acquaintances from my stays abroad are doing today. Not that we have more contact because of it, but we’re still connected… in some way.
Sometimes I see an Instagram post or WhatsApp status and think, „Wait a minute, when was the last time we were in touch? Oh, it’s about time!“ It serves as a reminder to me to keep in touch. Suddenly, for me, there’s no longer such a thing as ”out of sight, out of mind.“
Without WhatsApp video calls, I probably wouldn’t still be in touch with my friends from Canada, and our connection has certainly not become superficial—quite the opposite!
Using voce messages probably increases your ability to concentrate slightly, because with a 5-8 minute voice message, you have to remember everything in order to be able to reply.
Questions upon questions
Nevertheless, the topic continues to concern me, as my observations raise many questions:
- Are we generally having fewer personal conversations (face to face)?
- What are the consequences of abbreviated and reduced communication through the use of emojis, gifs, and memes?
- Could this even lead to a loss of language skills? For example, the ability to formulate complete sentences, verbalize emotions, and communicate experiences and stories.
- Are we losing empathy because we use symbols (emojis, gifs, memes) instead of reading and assessing the facial expression and body language of our counterparts?
- Is our communication becoming superficial, with a loss of depth, closeness, and connection?
How did this happen?
Convenience: Time is money. While the gray men in the background roll their next cigars from our time flowers (book: Michael Ende „Momo“) and rub their hands together, we diligently type messages, quickly post a photo, or speak a five-minute voice message, because a phone call carries the risk of lasting 30 minutes.
Coping strategy: Have we learned a different way of dealing with the flood of information and messages through WhatsApp and Co.? One that doesn’t make us feel like we’re constantly being bombarded with stimuli?
Everyone does it. It’s brutal how reduced communication has crept into our modern societies as a behavior in recent years, isn’t it? Human interaction is becoming more anonymous and non-committal. Sometimes I feel strange when I think, “I’ll just call instead of writing back and forth.” Do you know what I mean?
Fear of rejection? I wonder if this fear could be a reason for not just calling anymore. What if the person I call doesn’t answer the phone? Does that trigger a feeling of rejection in some people?
Fear of the other person’s reaction? When I am in direct contact with others (i.e., in the same room), the other person might contradict me or look at me strangely, and that makes me feel uncomfortable?
Conclusion
I have decided to pay more attention to ensuring that my communication does not slip. Writing helps me, but so does looking forward to a new challenge.
What can you do to strengthen your communication and connection with others?
Pick up the phone: Call your family or friends out of the blue. Can you feel the thrill already? 😉
Use AI: Have you heard of manifesting? It’s the process of imagining a goal or dream you want to achieve. Do you send emojis to the universe, God, or your future self? No. You imagine it visually or formulate sentences. Some of you will probably describe or visualize the manifestation in great detail. But what if you gradually lose the ability to communicate your desires because your communication has become so limited that it is really difficult for you?
But don’t worry, you can retrain yourself:
Close your eyes and imagine an everyday scene. Picture it in detail. Now open ChatGPT and ask the AI to create an image for you. Describe your imaginary picture in detail, including facial expressions, people’s moods, clothing, and weather. Be as detailed as possible and see what comes out. If you notice that the result is completely off the mark, what detail did the AI miss?
Complete sentences: Write a full response instead of just quickly confirming with a “thumbs up.”
Meet up. Use video calls. Take your time.
A different approach to information overload: What is really important? Do you have to respond to everything?
And me? I will try harder to respond in complete sentences again. And yes, I also get a thrill when I think about calling someone WITHOUT MAKING AN APPOINTMENT. But: Challenge accepted.