Note: I have written this text in 2021 as a part of a series of texts about my spiritual and personal journey…and never published it. The reason? I was still trying to free myself from my own limitations – fearing that my employer or clients (educational field) would find out of my spiritual/esoteric nature. Let me explain: in Germany that’s a reasonable fear because everything that is slightly spiritual, is automatically esoteric and therefore you must be unprofessional…anyways, I have decided that it would be beneficial for others to hear my story. I talk about it here and there at the events of the Likedminded Souls Community I have founded. So maybe you want to checkout one of our events and share your own story or thoughts there.
Let’s begin.
Awakening
Some of my spiritual experiences still don’t fully make sense to me, but I trust that they will later on my journey. I know this because that’s how it has unfolded over the past thirteen years. With every new experience and deeper exploration, new insights have revealed themselves.
I can’t point to a single moment of awakening that suddenly changed my life. My abilities were always there, but for a long time I didn’t understand them, nor did I know who I could talk to about them – until I moved to Canada in 2012 and there I have found likeminded people in 2013.
So, for a long time before that, I chose to close my eyes—to ignore my inner voice and to hide, both from others and from myself.
I am still in the process of connecting the dots, piecing together the fragments and glimpses that have accompanied me throughout my entire life and continue to do so.
So when did it all begin? Let me take you back to my childhood.
Out-of-body-experiences
When I reflect on my early years, I now understand certain moments much more clearly with the knowledge I have today. I have traced memories that felt different, moments that carried a distinct energetic imprint. Let me share a few examples:
One of my earliest memories involves out-of-body experiences. I used to sleepwalk frequently. I vividly remember floating just beneath the ceiling of our living room, curiously watching my parents sit on the couch and watch TV. My body felt incredibly light, and my parents couldn’t see me at all. Everything looked like the real world, yet because they were unaware of my presence, I knew I was somewhere else. It felt as though I was behind a thin, transparent veil—inside the room and not in it at the same time.
Was it just a dream? Even back then, I knew it wasn’t. I sensed that this experience was something special, and I felt that if I told anyone about it, this inner knowing would be taken away from me. Because that’s exactly what it was: an inner knowing that it is possible to enter another dimension. With the understanding I have now, I recognize these experiences as my first astral journeys.
Similar spiritual experiences appeared again and again throughout my life. Much later—much later—did I finally find the words to describe what I had been doing, seeing, and feeling all along.
Febrile seizure and hospital
When I was around two or three years old, I had a febrile seizure and was hospitalized. I have no conscious memory of the hospital itself and cannot recall the physical experience at all. What I do remember, however, is what happened in another realm.
In that place, I was standing on a footbridge overlooking a large lake, surrounded by huge mountains. Energy rolled toward me from behind, and I instinctively took it and shaped it into large energy balls, rolling them into the lake one after another. I couldn’t stop. The energy balls were small at first (I shaped them with my thumb and index finger) and then they became twice my size, and I pushed them forward with my arms, almost like moving hay bales. The closer they came to the edge of the bridge, the larger they grew beneath my hands. Even today, I can still feel that energy clearly. In the physical world, I remember moving my thumb and index finger, and the sensation remains as vivid as if it were happening right now.
Gnomes in the forest
Later, when I was in elementary school, my parents often took us on Sunday walks through the forest. Sometimes we simply walked; other times we gathered seasonal fruits like blueberries or chestnuts. Especially on the days when we stopped and stayed in one place for an hour or two, something magical happened.
In the forest, I saw small beings—gnomes—who would run away as soon as we humans entered their space. Occasionally, they would come closer to me and observe me, but I was never able to communicate with them before they disappeared. At times, especially during blueberry season, I saw tiny lights. I now know these were fairies. Back then, I dismissed it as imagination, as nothing more than a colorful fantasy.
And then, for a long time, nothing happened…until the eagle entered my life.